13, 14, 15… they're gone. Every 15 seconds a child dies from drinking water that is dirty or they just don’t have any access to water at all. While we can get a clean drink of water when ever we want, there are people who either have no water or have filthy water that can possibly kill them. I think people and places with sanitary water need to start helping others in need for clean water before the “impact” gets around to everyone.
In 2025, 2/3 of the world might be impacted by bad water which could lead to fighting over water supplies. As the population grows, demands for water go up and pollution levels will rise while more water will be needed to feed and nourish the huge amount of people. Some warn that the world population will increase by six billion in 2000 and by 2015 there will be an increase in people by seven billion. By 2025 the population will rise by 7.8 billion, which could lead to not enough water supplies. But right now water loss is mostly in Africa and Asia and around 2 to 5 million people die each year because of contaminated water. In Dayton, Minnesota, my old school, raised over $7,000 in a week to build a well in Africa. If that school could raise that much in a week then it would not be to much harder to raise more.
If people who have water start helping now by making the dirty water in our world clean then maybe the “impact” won’t get around in 2025.To help out, people can donate money to funds such as the “African Well Fund”. This fund has been able to make wells all over Africa because people have donated money. Just a little can make a huge difference, So how will you lend a hand to change this problem? 13, 14, 15… they're still here.
Alexa R.
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8 comments:
I really like your grabber!I like how you start counting it pulls the reader in!Your title is GREAT!
I like your opening sentence. I like how you showed that a child dies every 15 seconds from water loss, it was very interesting.
The grabber is understandable and interesting gets the readers attention by describing the thirst of children....
The grabber really pulled me in to reading more of your editorial. I also really liked how your grabber and your closing are tied together.
You have lots of information to support your opinion well which is good. Lots of vocabulary is added in nicley.
Heaven H.
I really liked our paper, it explained really good and also convinced me that this situation is in a terrible state. I really like the first paragraph, it really got me interested and had amazing information. The second paragraph is really good, but you could work on the 3rd sentence of the 2nd paragraph since it didn't make any sense when I read it. You could also put the last sentence of your 2nd paragraph as a part of your call to action. Your call to action is very good, but you could possbly had simple measures you can take. Try to work on the closing, it doesn't make much sense.
Alexa, i like your title alot; its very interesting and grabbing. In your first sentence though, you say that every 15 seconds, a child dies but when you write "13, 14, 15...THEY are gone" its not only one child. So you probably have to change that. in your second sentence you wrote "accesses" when it is supposed to be "access". in the first sentence of your second paragraph, you could find a better word than "impacted" as you used impact in the sentence above it. Your imformation is very supportive. Your last sentence is just like the first with the "they". And also you should put a comma between how and so instead of a period. (that was in the third paragraph, almost next to last sentence.)
The grabber is really good,and got me to think of what is happening but maybe use something other than "they are gone”. Also instead of using soiled water, you could use something, like unhealthy or filthy drinking water. In the first sentence of the second paragraph, you are sending out the idea, that there will defiantly be two thirds of the world fighting for clean drinking water, even though this is just a theory. The support of your idea is good, but you need a better closing sentence, that will wrap up your paragraph. I absolutely love the closing of your editorial, and how it is repetitive.
Julia G.
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