Tuesday, January 19, 2010

“World Detention”
Lexie Marks

Six million children are living in extreme and overwhelming poverty. Children between the ages of 5 and 18 face diseases, no school, violence, put in war and sexual abuse. Every single thing that these young kids have to go through is horrible and many people want it to stop including me. If this keeps on happening we won’t have any young and healthy kids left.

Has anyone ever made fun of you because of your color or religion? Lots of people have and its not right. You should have the same right no matter who your parents are, color, gender, language, religion, opinion, and disability, but that’s not happening. Violence is one of the most serious problems today. You would find it at schools, on the streets, and at home. Some violence even leads to death. 40 million children around the world suffer from abuse, neglect, needed health care and social care. Between the ages 12 and 17 there is many sexual abuse problems. Most likely there is a older person than the kid abusing them, so they get hurt. In many cases, they force them to do sexual things. You’ve probably never seen a kid with a deadly weapon, but you could. 300,000 kids have been put in the war around the world. Some of them are even as young as 8. Over 2000 have died as a direct result of kids being armed with weapons. Did you have a mom or dad when you were little or do you have one right now? Many don’t now, so they are doing the wrong things. Things are turning in to a “world detention” as a result of being in conflict with the law. Although the kids are the ones being hurt and are not protected it’s more of the adults fault for not caring and not helping.

Discrimination, violence, sexual abuse, children in armed conflict and lack of protection are all horrible and is now happening everywhere. So next you see a kid on the street or anywhere that is being in any way abused, you should be something like “How can I help?”.

By:Lexie M

3 comments:

Fareena Q said...

Wow...nice first paragraph and the title is catchy...

salemmiddle6 said...

I think that yiur title relates to your editorial. I like your first paragraph. I think that you can make you topic a more original.The topic is good, as well as your opinion sentance. Your second sentance in the second paragraph is more like an opinion than a topic sentance. You list the problems and evidence in you second paragraph and they kind of repeat the same thing. i think you could change you opinion in the last paragraph to 2 seprate sentances, spliting them up after lack of protection. I think that you shold change you closing sentance to a question like " Next time you see a kid on the street, ask yourself: How can I help?" There isnt any spelling errors in you editorial. Overall I think your editorial is good.

Tiffany S.

Lila R. said...

I thought all your pharagraphs were detailed and relevant and you put the right amount of needed informatoin and you stuck to your topic completely. the only thing i think you should to is make a 4th pharagraph out of that one huge 2nd pharagraph. Otherwise, i think it's perfect