If you’re a kid that loves playing video games about war. That one day you actually could do that for a living. Thing again, because millions of kids are being taken from their friends and homes. Put into trucks, and driven to a camp to train for war and action that lies ahead. It’s a terrible and awful that’s consuming our planet.
Here are few examples about the kids who have gone through this awful nightmare. Many kids wrote diaries when they were off duty in the war. Here’s a diary entry from a kid who was almost taken. “I was just playing my friends when a bunch of thugs and strangers took sand threw us in a big army truck. Our neighbor saw and told my mother. My mother told my uncle who a police officer at the time. My uncle talked to the commander and was sent free." Children between 7 to 18 are taken No younger or older. That’s awful because many kids don’t get to have a life. They’ll never really be able to enjoy life as a kid. Child soldiers are trained to kill civilians, burn down buildings, and other dangerous things. Also, they are bomb testers, used to scout areas, or to just fight out a situation instead of the adults.
Again, it’s mean, wrong, and cruel to do to just take away kids from there knowing there won’t come back. To stop this you can write papers and opinions on it, send letters, anything to make a difference. Today millions of kids literally do not have a life. This war that poisoning our young is consuming the Earth and getting bigger by the day. Just like a flea to skin, You can never get rid of them.
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7 comments:
i dont think that you should add the video games about war.
Try editing the quotes in paragraph 2, its missing some words like "My uncle talked the commander". I needs the "to". Nice strong words on your opinion! Good grabber.
First of all, in the third sentence you have a simple grammer mistake you should revise. Someof your adjectives are very dull, like awful. Instead, use something like horrendous or develish. ou also repeat those words alot. When you quote the diary, you forgot to add a quote at the end. Speaking of the quote, you also should revise it because I found many simple mistakes in it. Finally, the second to last, and last sentence can be joined together. Soem good things I found were your grabber, and closing sentence. I love the simile as the last sentnce. Overall, great article.
"taken from their friends"? parants thay need ther parants
In the second sentence you spelled think wrong.In your opinion sentence you said "It's a terrible and awful that's consuming our planet".You need to add the word thing in thing in between awful and that's
By:Rachel S.
Your first few sentences were sentence fragments.
The third comment is mine by the way.
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