Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Desperate Times

Daniel westgard

Children are being killed by the hundreds in Africa. Is this right? Child soiders are being trained to kill people like their own family. Children are going up against me how combat experience has. The kids do what the grownups say and they are murdering helpless people!


More children get kidnapped into militia is that desperate for soldiers they take harmless children a make them cold blooded killers. Children are dying off fast we have to do something or its going to get worst other countries may start this child corruption campaign. The men expect the children to do the dirty work like kill their family to become a man or steal something for the gang or kill ten old men and they can sit back and relax its like walking into death that’s wrong then after the children are all dead they take more. It’s not fair to the children to half to go thru that. In my opinion it’s not helping anything it doesn’t serve a purpose at all.

It’s pretty sad knowing children have to go thru that killing men and women. What would you do if you had to kill your mom or dad? The children are dying for noting but they people in Africa are suffering we can help this by send soldiers overseas to stop the militia and return the children to whatever family they have left that’s what we can do to stop this child corruption.

1 comment:

salemmiddle6 said...

You repeat the word "children" numerous times in the opening paragraph. What else could you call them?

The first sentence of your second paragraph is a run-on...you need to split it into two sentences. Sentence #2 in the second paragraph is unclear (read it out loud to yourself so you can hear it).

You said it's "not far" instead of not fair.

You used "half" instead of "have" in paragraph 2 and 3.

You said "they" instead of "the" in the last paragraph.

The very last sentence you used is a run-on and needs to be split up.